Morning Musings

The following is the result of lack of sleep and early mornings......

I've been doing a lot of thinking the past few days about a lot of things. One of those things is about letting things out of my control dictate my emotions and how my day will go....there are some people in my life that insist they are happy and have great lives, yet can't seem to have a real grip on certain things in life. They get so wrapped up in themselves and their emotions over on event or length of time, that in the grand scheme of things probably wont amount to much. They let that thing overwhelm their mind and their happiness and suddenly nothing is fun anymore. I just don't understand it. I don't know if I'm just incredibly rational...which I really don't think is the case...or what. I know I have never been in the exact situations, but I have been in similar ones and never handled it this way. I'm not trying to say that everyone needs to deal with things the exact same way I do, but when someone tries to lecture other people on not letting other people control your emotions and turns around and lets that happen, it doesn't make much sense.
I've had to work on that and I think I've made progress, I can always keep working on it. But these past few days have showed me that I can do a lot of things that I never really thought I could do. I just have to put myself out there and not be afraid of the results, which actually weren't bad. Nothing catastrophic happened and life moves on. I think this summer has been the best thing for me right now. I'm living with incredible people and I have done things that have helped me grow and learn a lot. I've been able to put a lot behind me which has probably been the biggest reason my life is so much better, I've stopped dwelling on things that are out of my control. I took a chance and now I'm waiting to see how that plays out, but I'm just so glad I did it. I'm ready to start a new year and I'm ready start preparing for the next stage in life, it's scary but seeing the process one of my housemates is going through as she prepares to move makes me so excited. I'm sure when the time comes for me to actually do that, i will be a nervous wreck, but I'll face that obstacle when the time comes.

Apologies for the run-on sentences and schizophrenic thoughts, but like I said in the beginning, this is the result of early mornings at work where I do nothing but watch people walk through the door and maybe answer 6 phone calls.
I don't expect anyone to actually read all of this, it was mostly for my benefit to try and break my writers block and to keep my self entertained for a little while.

Update: 2:00 pm
I'm looking at law schools to apply to and its freaking me out. Part of me wants to forget school and backpack through europe and write about it. But the other part of me wants to be a business women. I wish I could be a lawyer without the extra school Thats 3 more years I have to devote to studying and more debt I will accumulate. The other idea is, do I take a year off and work or do I go straight in? What if I can't get a job where I want? I thought by the time I was a senior I would have this all figured out and I would have to do is send in job applications.